Don't Feel Sorry for me Because I haven't found "The ONE"

I don’t live any aspect of my life as if there is ONE answer, so why would I treat love any differently? To believe that there is ONE person made just for me out of 7 billion, just never made any sense to me. I learned very early on that life was no fairy tale, and I certainly am not Cinderella. It’s always, “Don’t worry girl, he’s out there somewhere, THE ONE.” As if telling me that at 36 I just still haven’t met that ONE person made just for me out of 7 billion should made me feel better about my single condition. Well let me say this people, DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR ME because you think I haven’t found “The ONE”. I did, I found him many times in my life, and they were all amazing loves; they were all the one…until they weren’t. To say that my first love, who carried my clarinet, and held my hand at lunch wasn’t the one, would be crazy to me. At that time you couldn’t tell me there would be any other boy, he was it for me, and after the 5th grade we would live happily ever after. (So said our Halloween Carnival Marriage Certificate) There will never be another first love in my life, he was The ONE. Then I really met the ONE, he was tall, dark and handsome, and I couldn’t tear myself away…”No you hang up, no you…on the count of three…” Three just so happened to be our number too, still is mine, 3 has been my lucky number since that love, and now because it is my son’s number too. We bonded over sports, both athletic and truth be told he looked like my favorite player at the time, Jalen Rose. Which is where I derived my son’s name, there were too many Jalen’s so I went with Dailynn. I think of him because those things still tie me to that memory and time. So he was also the ONE, the one who gave me pieces of myself that make me very much who I am today. Then there’s the other ONE, the one who made me feel like the most important, most beautiful girl in the world. To this day, he is still the one who I always felt loved me the most. It was the best; I knew he adored me, that no matter what, at least HE would always see me as beautiful and special. I couldn’t handle all of that love at the time, I was way too cool for it, but looking back, it’s nice to have been so loved in my life. He was the ONE, the one guy who truly made me feel adored and I will never forget it, Te amo, always and forever. My ex-husband couldn’t be the ONE, or else he wouldn’t be my ex, right? He took on the responsibility of marrying me and raising my son as his own, as well as our son together, and gave up his college football dreams to join the Navy to be able to do that all at age 18. Now those boys we raised are 19 and 17 and we can still take family vacations. We have been to hell and back many times together, so he is the ONE. He’s the ONE who stepped up. That brings me to the next ONE, my childhood best friend, who became my baby daddy after a curious game of “show me yours and I’ll show you mine”. We have maintained a healthy love/hate relationship over the years, but he will always be the ONE who’s face I see when I look in my son’s face, so he too is ONE that cannot be replaced. There is the ONE who made me feel beautiful again after divorce at such a young age. The one who chased me down in his Escalade to tell me how beautiful he thought I was and how he had to get my number. Then there’s the ONE who taught me how to love myself after desperately trying to make me love him. There's the one who saw the things in me that I love, like my humor and my joy for writing. He was the ONE who told me how funny I was instead of how beautiful and how smart instead of sexy. He will always be the ONE who saw deeper into me. How can I say these men were not “THE ONE”? They all were the one I needed at that time. The ones who made me person I am today. How do I say that one of them is more substantial than the next? Is the love disregarded because it didn’t work out? Yes, I am 36 and single, but don’t feel sorry for me because I haven’t found, “The ONE”, because I have found them all. I loved the people I loved at different times in my life based on who I was and what I needed, and they all make me the ONE and only, Jami Hardaway.

I Am An Equal Opportunity Offender

Have you ever wanted to be able to say EXACTLY what’s on your mind, but been too afraid of offending anyone within earshot?  I’ve never had that problem; actually I have quite the opposite problem.  I haven’t been clinically diagnosed, but I have been in healthcare long enough to know that I in fact do have Chronic Diarrhea of the Mouth.  The only known cure is a muzzle, and although I am a Bitch, I am opting not to treat my disease, but to instead embrace it.   Who is this self-proclaimed, Best in Show Bitch, you ask?  My name is Jami Hardaway, and I am a 35year old single mother, nurse, writer, baker, and now blogger.  I have been a mom more of my life than I have not.  I essentially grew up with my two wonderfully unique boys, Dailynn and Justynn.  I have many more kids who I have taken in over the years, and helping people, especially kiddos, is a true passion of mine.   Helping people is the only reason I have been able to be a nurse for so many years, because nursing sure was not my dream job as a kid.  I come from a family of nurses, but my eyes were set on entertaining, making people laugh and cry with my words.  I have always loved writing.  It can be anything you want it to be.  I have spent my life observing people.  I have worked in jails and hospitals since I was 18, and have dealt with the best and the worst of people.  Everyone at the end of the day has a story, a reason they ended up where they did.  Everyone has a truth, and this blog will serve as mine.  This is my view of life, love, parenting, politics, religion, race, pop culture, and humankind.  I hope you will follow me and respond in kind.  I can take it as easily as I dish it, so feel free to be as open and honest as I am.  I welcome all types of feedback good and bad, because I have to respect everyone’s freedom of speech, as that is what allows me to even write at all.  If I offend you at any time, I make no apologies for my feelings and thoughts, but don’t take it personally because I AM AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY OFFENDER.